Short jokes
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!