Short jokes
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!