Short jokes

Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.

My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.

Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.

I make science puns, but only periodically.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!