Short jokes
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.