Short jokes
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?