Short jokes

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.

I make science puns, but only periodically.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"