Crap Jokes

These jokes ar all crap

Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet

I recently got kicked out of a casino because i apparantly misunderstood what the craps table was for

When it comes to recycling toilet paper you really need to process the crap out of it.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6AM but wake up at 7AM. And it's not even a joke.

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit somthing brown and gross?that is bull crap

JOE MOMMA SO FAT WHEN SANTA CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY HE SAID HO HO HOLY CRAP

So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup

And I asked him what he is doing

Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if i bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits

Me: Erm................Are you a simp?

Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house

KG: You have it?

Guy: Yup, now can I play with them

KG: Sure!

KG then went to her room.

Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. Your gonna call me over and you will be-

KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it

KG: Have fun playing with them!

Guy: WHAT THE FU-

your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet

The KING took a shit on the craps table at the casino

this one time i said that john cena looks like crap but i realised i cant see him LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

HOLY CRAP!!! crap with holes in it. get it? HOLE - Y?

What skieleton does Crap-ton of skieleton

how old is uuuuuurrrr mom. five cringe.... i know that was a crap joke... not even a joke

puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears. "I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing." The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. one was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. they came to a cliff and the brunette said "if you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it" so the brunette jumped off and said falcon and became a falcon. the redhead jumped off and said eagle and became an eagle. the dumb blonde ran, was about to jump but tripped on a rock, and said "crap"