Short jokes
What is a "dad?"
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!