Short jokes
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.