Short jokes
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Biden
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.