Short jokes

Short jokes

Baby

What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?

My dick while I'm doing it.

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  • World

    Why did half of the world go to hell?

    Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.

    (You've been warned!)

  • 1
  • Water

    How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

    Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

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  • Cancer

    You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?

    You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.

  • 1
  • Pool

    Do you want to go to the pool?

    Yes? Well, water you waiting for?

    Shit

    What's red, green, and smells like shit?

    ... Red and green shit.

    Mars Bar

    If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!

    Mistake

    Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?

    Difference

    What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

    There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

    Sex

    Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.

    Brownie

    Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?

    Because she wanted to join the Brownies.

    British

    What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

    The British are cumming! The British are cumming!