Short jokes
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
I like dildos.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.