Short jokes
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
I charge 50 bucks a suck.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
69.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.