Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Short Jokes
What has a head and tail but no legs?
A penny.
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Electricity.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
