Short jokes
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.