Short jokes
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Why am I so sad?
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
My teacher is a rapist.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
"Wakanda Forever" didn't last forever.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!