Short jokes
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
3.14% of sailors are...
Ο-rates.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
You are the reason double doors were invented.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. ππππ