I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
Short Jokes
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
