Short jokes
Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?
Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.
Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Jack
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
"Ohh wing wing."
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
Giggity!
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Hi, I'm the wicked wiener!!!
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."