Short jokes
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.