Short jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.