Short jokes
Teddy
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
I'm hungry.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.