Short jokes
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
TikTok
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Think like a proton--stay positive!
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.