Short jokes
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!