Short jokes
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco