Short jokes
Women’s rights.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Another Nazi joke.
Did Nazi that coming?
Did Jew?
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.