Short jokes
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?