Short jokes

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "Daddy~"

I dislike the UK with a great taste.

The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

Remember 2000? It was scary.

What's the most emo name?

Carter.

You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.