Short jokes
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
Pennywise: "They all float down here!"
Titanic: *hold my beer*
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!