Short jokes
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
Pennywise: "They all float down here!"
Titanic: *hold my beer*
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."