Short jokes

In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.

What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?

CUMedy.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

Why do priests appreciate educated children?

They don't spit.

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."

Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!