Short jokes
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.