Short jokes
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Hi. Hhhh yrddd.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.