Short jokes
My career is worth more than your adoption.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Ready when you are, KK.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
Which is better looking, girls or women?
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"