Short jokes
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.