Short jokes

Short jokes

Orphan

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯

Cannibal

"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"

"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."

"I meant the ice cream, bro..."

Mom

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

Girlfriend

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

Orphan

Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.

Plane

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

Orphan

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

Everybody

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

Pornstar

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Tomato

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

Orphan

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

School

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"