Short jokes
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
kapteyn = captain
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!