Short jokes

Short jokes

Fat

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

Whey

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

Promotion

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Orphan

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

People

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

Pig

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

FBI

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

Pirate

Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!

Orphanage

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

Hairline

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!