Short jokes
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."
Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.