Short jokes
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What’s the difference between the milk and drugs?
My dad brought the drugs back, not the milk though! 😭
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
Get (DYM 129)
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.
jkjkjhk
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.
Unpopular opinion about programming but,
"Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined."
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.