What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
Short Jokes
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
