Short jokes
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
It's not a joke.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.