Renovation jokes
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!