Renovation jokes

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?

It'll be udder renovation!

What do renovators and lesbians have in common?

They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.

I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.

Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!