Short jokes
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
The priest had a very holy shirt.
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.