Short jokes
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
Go sub to Patty Mahomes on YouTube!
Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.
Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Keep yourself safe!
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.