Short jokes
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
"Orla Doyle is fit."
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Arms.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Hi, Larry.
Bye, Larry.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.