What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
Short Jokes
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
No matter how much I cry, the white people still left me hanging.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.
Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
I was wrong about AISH workers having no value.
If you get to them soon enough after the murder, you can harvest a few organs.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
