Short jokes
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Lions = gay pride.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.