Short jokes
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?
Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.