Short jokes
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.