Short jokes
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Are you choked?
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.