Short jokes
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.