Short jokes
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your Boyfriend.
Your Boyfriend who?
Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye!
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Hi Blake.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha