Short jokes
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Run, bestie, run!
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.