You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Short Jokes
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
KK or Liv?
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
Pineapple turnover.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
