Short jokes
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.