Short jokes
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?
For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.
Your mama so fat she sunk the HMS ship!
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.