If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Short Jokes
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Eschew obfuscation.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
Orphanage protest jokes here!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
I lick poo for a living... You?
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
Who was Goldilocks' best friend?
Goldie.
