Short jokes
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.