Short jokes
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!