Short jokes
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.