Short jokes
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!