Short jokes
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.