Short jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Gnome.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.