Short jokes
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.