Short jokes
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."