How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
Short Jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."
Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
