Short jokes

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.

Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

What did the fish get on his math test?

A sea plus.

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔