Short jokes
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."
Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔