Short jokes
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
I killed myself, then woke up.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
What do you get when you add 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 200 + 10?
Completely confuse you!
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
Why was the math book sad at the rap battle?
Because it couldn't count the bars!
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Q: What was Hitler's least favorite candy?
A: Jujubes.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.
If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.
What did one lung say to another lung?
"We belung together!"