Short jokes
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.