Short jokes
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
The Twilight fanbase.
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"