Short jokes
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.