Short jokes
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"