Short jokes
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
MrBeast: *breathes*
Twitter: 😡🤬
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.