Short jokes

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.

A: Carrot 🥕

Sans: What do you have there?

Frisk: A KNIFE!

Sans: NOO!!!

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

Lessi

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?

To-do list.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's green and smells like joemama? Shit from a cock.

Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Why did the cheetah get sad?

'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

His gay ass dad.

What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.