Short jokes
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Alpha Kenny body?
Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Bro, go work at McDonald's. Your hairline inspired their logo!
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.