Short jokes
Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had a window pane.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Wanna see my pp again?
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.