Short jokes
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.