Short jokes
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
We should stop being mean to orphans.
We should be cruel instead.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"