Short jokes
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
I like peanut butter and honey.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?