Short jokes
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.