Short jokes

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

I play Fortnite, but also I play Minecraft for 14 nights.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.

My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?

Skittles.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

120 pounds.

On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.

What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.