Short jokes

Hi, I'm cool.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!

🎆

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

Just cum.

What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?

"STUPID VINIGGER!"

Big black ball sacks.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

My parents love me.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?

The Demon at least has a trade offer.

What's a duck's favorite drug?

Cwack.