Short jokes
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Quandale Dingle
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!