Short jokes

I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!

What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?

"To be and not to be."

I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.

It was one-sided.

Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?

Beth-la-ham

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?

The cops had to comb the area.

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.

What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?

Because it was in da skies.