Short jokes
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Rooster.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!