Short jokes
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.