Short jokes
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
Ballz!
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.