Short jokes
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.