Short jokes
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."