Short jokes
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
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There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.