Short jokes
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Someone stole my balls :(
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Official orgasm donor.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.