Short jokes
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Smash or pass the Twin Towers?
Planes: Smash
What's the difference between your mum and the Twin Towers?
I would smash the Twin Towers.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"