Short jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
I'm gay.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
What's the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.