Short jokes
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Hey daddy *winky face*