Short jokes
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.