Short jokes
What's bigger than Kurt Cobain's head?
What do you mean? He doesn't have one.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
The students at Columbine needed books, but all they got were magazines.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.