Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
Short Jokes
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
A man was at the temperature -273.15°C. He was OK.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
Why did Zozo the hobo cross the road?
To eat the Pringles.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
