Short jokes
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
Did you know that water is wet?
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.