Short jokes
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.
What is the smallest skyscraper in the world? The World Trade Centre.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.