Short jokes
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
Why can't Heaven and Hell ever be one 2nd paradise?
Heaven always has 5-star reviews.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.