Short jokes
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.
They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.