Short jokes

What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?

They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?

De-calf!

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wipe his ass.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

How does the dog dance?

He doesn't... he's dead.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.