Short jokes
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
I like zebras.
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.