Short jokes

Short jokes

Jesus

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

Gay

What do gay guys and priests have in common?

They are both gay in their own ways.

Boob

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

Phone

Why can Asian people buy phones?

'Cause they might call the wrong number.

Caillou

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

Orphan

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Atheist

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

Shooter

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

Gun

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

Santa

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

Shooting

Mother got shot, damn.

Father got shot, damn.

Sister got shot, damn.

Brother got shot, damn.

Auntie running away with a shotgun!

Uranus

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

Orphan

An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

Guy

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!