Short jokes
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.