Short jokes
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.