Short jokes
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
All dumbs aren't blonde.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.