I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Short Jokes
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
What hangs low?
Balls.
#takemebacksophie
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
