Short jokes
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.